


CHUG!

by sugaplumvisions



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Boys Will Be Boys, Crack, Gen, not emetophobia safe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:01:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24828748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugaplumvisions/pseuds/sugaplumvisions
Summary: The epic saga of Bokuto versus the mayonnaise.
Kudos: 8
Collections: SportsFest 2020





	CHUG!

“Chug! Chug! Chug!” Kuroo chants. 

“Chug! Chug! Chug!” the rest of the boys holler. 

“Quiet!” Bokuto hisses. “The coaches are gonna hear us. And  _ you’re _ not the ones who are gonna be getting in trouble.” 

“It’s our responsibility as captains to make sure you boys are in by curfew. Especially you, Lev,” Kuroo says, looking at him pointedly. 

“You invited me! You said it was going to be an epic party,” Lev protests. 

“Listen, I’m not saying you can’t be here,” Bokuto begins. 

“We’re just saying, you were never here,” Kuroo finishes. 

“So be quiet!” Bokuto says. “Or we’ll be running laps half the day tomorrow.” 

Nishinoya and Tanaka abruptly sober. 

“Can you imagine what Daichi would say if he caught us?” Noya says. 

“He’s not going to catch us, though,” Tanaka says. 

“True; he sleeps like a log.” Noya shrugs. “Chug! Chug! Chug!” he quietly crows.

“This is the last dare,” Bokuto says. “Because after this I’m going to have the shits all night, and I hope you’re happy with yourself.” He glares at Kuroo, but it’s only about twenty percent malicious. 

Kuroo’s face spreads into a wide, lazy grin. “Never been happier.” 

“Ugh, fine,” Bokuto says. He upends the mayonnaise over his face and starts to gulp it down. Kuroo can see where he starts to gag, but he perseveres through it. Mayonnaise starts to run down his chin as he continues with the gluttonous spectacle. He ignores it and powers through until the jar is empty. 

“Okay everybody, eat your contraband and get out of here,” Bokuto says, the bottom half of his face still white. 

“I, uh, think I’m gonna be sick,” Lev says. 

“We warned you when you came in; this is not for the weak of heart or stomach,” Kuroo says. 

“There’s a reason I didn’t tell Asahi,” Noya says, shoving half a candy bar in his face. He and Tanaka share a laugh as they chow down on the last of their stashed chocolate. 

“You did good, Bo,” Kuroo says, and raises his hand for a high-five. Bokuto wipes the bottom of his face with one hand and instead of giving him a high-five, splats it directly into the middle of Kuroo’s face. 

“Bokuto Fucking Koutarou!” Kuroo shrieks. 

“Quiet!” Lev hisses. “You’ll wake up the coaches!” 

“I think it was enough punishment for you all to have to see that spectacle,” Bokuto says. 

“We didn’t mind it,” Tanaka says. He shrugs. 

“I’ve chugged worse without a dare,” Noya says. 

“Nishinoya, that’s disgusting,” Kuroo says. 

“ _ You’re _ disgusting,” Bokuto says, elbowing Kuroo in the side. 

“Scatter,” Kuroo says, turning to the room of younger boys. They begin to file out one by one, but the captains linger a little longer. 

“No, Bokuto,” Kuroo says, throwing an arm around his shoulder. “ _ We’re _ disgusting.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks as always to Adri, Kou, Kia, and Sin Central. Though I understand if y'all don't want to be associated with this. :P


End file.
